All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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