she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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