just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
