Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I love you

  (720): View more from Colorado

  are you drunk

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yes but I def love you, we should get married

  (720): View more from Colorado

  But I'm Jewish

  (440): View more from Ohio

  embrace Jesus

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  (440): I love you (720): are you drunk (440): yes but I def love you, we should get married (720): But I'm Jewish (440): embrace Jesus http://tfl.nu/v32c
  Replies (9) Good night (3155) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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  (910): is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise. http://tfl.nu/ewvs
  Replies (40) Good night (2212) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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  (734): Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid. http://tfl.nu/qckj
  Replies (33) Good night (763) Bad night (4288)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.

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  (925): you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes. http://tfl.nu/km2x
  Replies (18) Good night (689) Bad night (2943)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.

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  (505): Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear. http://tfl.nu/zxhr
  Replies (45) Good night (699) Bad night (2986)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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  (919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd. http://tfl.nu/5f3i
  Replies (64) Good night (8918) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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  (847): sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/gemh
  Replies (15) Good night (1002) Bad night (5935)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?

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  (814): And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys? http://tfl.nu/bo9t
  Replies (33) Good night (1070) Bad night (5883)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love

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  (202): he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love http://tfl.nu/m0fg
  Replies (15) Good night (5515) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

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  (951): I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them. http://tfl.nu/loif
  Replies (33) Good night (2004) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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  (952): She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high. http://tfl.nu/dd7j
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Big girls don't cry they get day drunk

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  (479): Big girls don't cry they get day drunk http://tfl.nu/o4rn
  Replies (5) Good night (2121) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail

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  (858): I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail http://tfl.nu/x9sf
  Replies (2) Good night (1027) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.

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  (609): He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state. http://tfl.nu/7xin
  Replies (24) Good night (457) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

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  (585): "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly." http://tfl.nu/7n5b
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (300)

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