Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane

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  (586): I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane http://tfl.nu/vhwv
  Replies (6) Good night (1468) Bad night (478)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

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  (503): idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him. http://tfl.nu/3ewm
  Replies (20) Good night (2786) Bad night (538)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.

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  (402): Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice. http://tfl.nu/dl8a
  Replies (9) Good night (794) Bad night (3616)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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  (918): we should wear snuggies to the strip club http://tfl.nu/cih2
  Replies (17) Good night (6385) Bad night (921)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.

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  (781): PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/qjlc
  Replies (9) Good night (4131) Bad night (467)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  gotta love wednesdays

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  (309): In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st. (217): gotta love wednesdays http://tfl.nu/3grc
  Replies (21) Good night (4087) Bad night (975)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

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  (603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ivw8
  Replies (32) Good night (17912) Bad night (1325)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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  (970): I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment. http://tfl.nu/cc9w
  Replies (9) Good night (3764) Bad night (1157)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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  (773): It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse. http://tfl.nu/a75v
  Replies (8) Good night (2765) Bad night (1336)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.

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  (703): I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks. http://tfl.nu/40kn
  Replies (3) Good night (1569) Bad night (467)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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  (973): She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja http://tfl.nu/0g6m
  Replies (9) Good night (1462) Bad night (564)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"

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  (203): At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?" http://tfl.nu/4r68
  Replies (5) Good night (1646) Bad night (352)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.

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  (520): Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot. http://tfl.nu/72kv
  Replies (2) Good night (161) Bad night (627)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club

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  (727): I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club http://tfl.nu/x5dg
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (163)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.

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  (901): Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good. http://tfl.nu/s35o
  Replies (4) Good night (295) Bad night (715)

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