Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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  (732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr
  Replies (32) Good night (1454) Bad night (4437)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4865) Bad night (715)
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  (805): View more from California

  Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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  (805): Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order. http://tfl.nu/u5vw
  Replies (16) Good night (3951) Bad night (701)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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  (832): So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party. http://tfl.nu/a5ld
  Replies (33) Good night (11665) Bad night (3137)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?

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  (203): If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him? http://tfl.nu/p8ua
  Replies (8) Good night (3884) Bad night (1040)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.

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  (902): This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being. http://tfl.nu/gtcm
  Replies (8) Good night (3743) Bad night (949)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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  (251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf
  Replies (8) Good night (1017) Bad night (1668)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2448) Bad night (746)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday

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  (412): i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed (201): so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday http://tfl.nu/f6fd
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (802)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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  (775): I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing http://tfl.nu/nqjl
  Replies (6) Good night (1085) Bad night (519)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.

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  (319): I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester. http://tfl.nu/qs45
  Replies (10) Good night (892) Bad night (452)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?

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  (775): Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table? http://tfl.nu/vh5f
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (362)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks

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  (425): If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks http://tfl.nu/pmwr
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (317)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.

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  (727): I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes (937): Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you. http://tfl.nu/m8ti
  Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (342)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings

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  (814): Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings http://tfl.nu/8ytt
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (259)

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