god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
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just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How's work?
Spinning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
