Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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