I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
