if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
