I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
