he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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