sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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