The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize