is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
