I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
