i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
