just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
