I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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