idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
