just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize