We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
