yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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