escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
