i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
