Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
