I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
