Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
smell my finger.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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