I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
