Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
