sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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