This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
