so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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