erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You smell like stripper and shame
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize