i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
