it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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