we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
