I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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