Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
PS: I just woke up from my shower
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
