david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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