gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
