I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
