I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
