well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Michael Bay diarrhea
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
