he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
