From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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