I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
