Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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