Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize