i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
