Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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