We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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