Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
