I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The air taste purple.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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