I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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