Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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