When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am available for nakedness
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
