Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
