handjob tips. give me some.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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