dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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