talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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