Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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