I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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