You're so nebulous sometimes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
