they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize