forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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