He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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