WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
