I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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