I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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