I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
