and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
