Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
