i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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