before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
