Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
