woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
