I must be too annoying 4 u.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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